Hello fellow interweb friends!
I don't know about you, but I know, as a girl, I pick up little signs and signals very fast that make me feel special or wanted by someone I'm interested in. Recently, I was in a situation where all the little signs and gestures were there, but since I'm a little more traditional when it comes to things like that, I interpreted it different from the person who was giving off the signals. In a way, I feel like the little "love" gestures are now being thrown out and about without any kind of feelings or emotional attachment to it, kind of like the word "love" being taken for granted. As much as we have evolved into the 21st century and become more modernized and open-minded, I still believe that certain traditional practices and values should be kept traditional and with that, I mean you should act affectionate (like physical touching and holding) only to the person who you have feelings for, just as long as they reciprocate. The worse thing is for a guy to make a girl feel special and then toss her to the curb the next day or when a guy gives a girl special attention as he talks about another girl he is hooking up with, especially when he knows this girl he's giving special attention to is not the type to kiss and tell or do casual relationships.
When it comes to affections and love, everyone has their own way of showing it and receiving it. I recently read the book "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman that kind of summarizes who certain people have different ways of showing their love as well as ways in which they interpret love. This book has really opened my eyes to different ways of showing someone I love them. For some, saying you love them isn't enough, for others, saying you love them as well as making time for them will make them feel like they're in heaven, so I definitely recommend this book if you want to learn a little bit more about yourself as well as our special person. But anyways, for me, I believe that we all receive and give love through physical touch to a certain degree, so I think, as a way to respect the person you're interested in, there should be a boundary when it comes to touch. Like I said earlier, if you're like me, an arm around the waist, arm on the lower back, etc. are signs of affection that only two people who are interested in each other would do, so unless it is clear that touching is not a sign of affection for you, then I don't think it's a good idea just to be throwing your arms around a girl who may be interested in you cause that is just a whole big misunderstanding in the making! In a way, physical touch is the most basic form of showing love and affection, our most instinctive one, so be considerate and take a second to think how the other person may take it before you put your arms around them.
Us girls love feeling loved and appreciated, so by the littlest touch or a small gesture can make us feel on top of the world. We don't always need big things like jewelry or fancy trips, just a little door-opening here and a little kiss there, maybe a bouquet of flowers as an element of surprise can put us over the moon! Even though some girls will make it seem like they're fine with the whole casual relationship/sex thing, deep down, they still appreciate a nice gentleman who will wine and dine them. There is nothing with a little wine and dine here and there, even if you are just having casual sex with each other; personally, that's not my thing, but if it works for you, then hooray, just show the other person a little appreciation and everything will be peachy keen!
So girls, if you're the one reading this, we can do the same for the guys we're with or interested in. Sometimes, we expect the guys to do things, but I'm sure they can use a day where we baby them a bit and give in to their whims, make them feel a little special as well. They may not want flowers and chocolates, but what guy doesn't like a nice night of video games or sports, so be the sensual but yet also cool and understand girlfriend/significant other and throw a game night or something you know he'd enjoy just to show him that you appreciate him a lot too!
In a way, relationship or not, when you want to show the person you are interested in that you feel something special for them, do the little gestures. Girls love the little details and well, as much as we think guys are oblivious to the little things, they appreciate a nice little something too! It's a two way street! Girls can't expect guys to do everything and well guys, we will also try our best to do little things for you too! Let's bring back courtship because if we look back to our parents' and grandparents' relationships, it all started with courtship, and look how long in love they stayed?!?!
Until next time,